How to
CONNECT WITH YOUR CHILD

by Robin Ticic

just released!

GET THIS BOOK DIRECTLY FROM THE PUBLISHER

INTRODUCTION

"Trying to get through to my kid is like talking to the wall!"

"Where do I draw the line when it comes to discipline?"

"We're always arguing about how to deal with our kids."

"I feel like the family slave! I have needs and desires, too."

  Does any of this sound familiar to you? Are you tired of the conflicts and misunderstandings? As a mother of four boys, I know what this can feel like! But we're supposed to enjoy spending time with those who are most important to us, aren't we? So what can we do to set things on a better course? How would it be to have a step by step approach to improvement?

  As both a parent and a psychologist, I've spent many years observing and analyzing what happens between parents and their children. Together we'll look at a wealth of real-life examples, examining patterns and habits of communication. We'll explore a proven method of finding your way through these sorts of dilemmas. You, like many parents I've had the privilege of working with before you, will find more clarity when dealing with typical "problem situations" as well as everyday interactions in the family.

  When your son refuses to do his homework, for instance, or your daughter won't clean up her room, what can you do about it? We'll be looking at ways of resolving dilemmas like these. You'll learn methods that you can use to generalize from one specific situation to others systematically, once you understand their similarities. It's like having a master cookbook that's so clear and so thorough that you can create practically any recipe you need!

  You'll find yourself becoming more relaxed as a parent. Problems won't seem so overwhelming, because you'll have a much better idea how to deal with them. Parenting will be more rewarding and less stressful. The ways that you and your children communicate with one another will become more constructive. So get ready! We're in for a wonderful adventure together.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION: HOW TO BE THE BEST PARENT POSSIBLE
LAYING THE FOUNDATION
     1. FEELING FRUSTRATED?
     2. THE COMMUNICATIONS MATRIX
BUILDING UP A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP
     3. WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT GREEN?
     4. WHAT IS YOUR CHILD TELLING YOU?
     5. WHAT ARE YOU TELLING YOUR CHILD?
HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD WITH PROBLEMS
     6. WHY LISTEN IF YOUR CHILD HAS A PROBLEM?
     7. HOW TO LISTEN SO YOUR CHILD WANTS TO TALK
HOW TO HELP YOURSELF WITH PROBLEMS
     8. WHY TALK TO YOUR CHILD IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?
     9. HOW TO TALK SO YOUR CHILD WANTS TO LISTEN
HOW TO RESOLVE MUTUAL PROBLEMS
     10. HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFLICTS CONSTRUCTIVELY
APPENDIX 1. PRACTICAL PROBLEM-SOLVING METHODS
APPENDIX 2. QUESTIONS PEOPLE OFTEN ASK
APPENDIX 3. SURVEY RESULTS: CHILDREN RATE PARENTS

EXCERPTS

(from Chapter 1:)

A frame of reference

  Over the years I have dealt with countless situations where something has gone wrong in the communication between people. After the fact, it's often possible to analyze what actually happened and where something went awry. The ultimate goal, though, is to recognize what's happening as it happens, rather than afterwards. That way it's possible to get things back on track right away. In order to assist myself and, therefore, other people in pursuing this goal, it has been useful to me to work with a theoretical framework that I call the "Communications Matrix©." The matrix helps us see certain things with great clarity. Is it exciting? You bet!

Read more excerpts ...

WHAT THE PROFESSIONALS ARE SAYING:

"Emotions have a profound effect on our physical – and mental – health. Snarling and fussing at ones we love can trigger headaches to stomach aches and everything in between. Ms. Ticic has provided an intelligent, systematic, holistic guide through the maze of communication pitfalls that can trap us all, teaching crucial skills so parents don't have to choose between what their heads say and what their hearts say. A must read!"
– Elizabeth Lee Vliet, M.D., Founder, HER Place - Health Enhancement and Renewal for Women, Inc. and author of several women's health books

"Engagingly written and eminently sensible, this book is a joy to read. It gives loving parents a clear, useful way to solve communications problems that inevitably arise in the care and nurture of growing children – that most important of tasks."
– Herbert J. Keating III, M.D., Clinical Professor of Medicine, University of Connecticut School of Medicine

"A powerful and amazingly clear approach to communicating with children. The more parents who read this book, the better."
– Zach Davis, author, speaker, trainer for PoweReading and Personal Effectiveness

"The author's voice comes through in a quiet, non-patronizing and non-academic way, saying, 'Let me help you out. I'm on your side and understand what you're going through. I've been there, too.' "
– Joan Harris Burgett, Day Care Center Clinical and Program Director

"The Communications Matrix is brilliant! It very simply depicts complex relationships and interactions. I now know where I am, where I want to be, and how to get there."
– Loredanna Xuereb, Medical Research Scientist and Consultant

WHAT OTHER READERS ARE SAYING:

"I'm finding that I can really use my intelligence to understand my children's feelings and behavior, and my own, too."

"I feel as though I'm now better able to interact with my children in ways I feel proud of and that I hope they'll pass on to their own children some day."

"The exercises were easy for me to understand and use."

"The many examples and true stories let me draw my own conclusions about what works for us and what doesn't."

"Although there are years of experience and a wealth of understanding being communicated in the book, I was never overwhelmed or left behind because the writing is direct and clear."

"I liked the humor. It helps make a difficult topic easier."

"I really like the Communications Matrix. I can visualize and understand our family dynamics better."

"These methods have given me much more clarity in dealing with day-to-day problems between the kids and me."

"As a father, this is the first book I've seen on this topic that really makes sense. It's easy to use, and I'm getting results."